One year later

A year ago today, Alex and I packed up our black Buick Regal and said goodbye to Jersey City, ready to make the move, yet again, to the western side of the Rockies. The route we chose was almost identical to the route we drove in 1998, the first time we embarked on a westward adventure. In 1998, it was a green Oldsmobile that carried us, and the main difference between the two routes was the early part, as we began that first trip from Philadelphia, traveling along the Pennsy' Pike until we met up with Route 80 in Ohio. In 2010, we drove onto 80 West after only a few miles on the Jersey Turnpike. The passengers on both trips were the same: Alex, myself, and poor sweet She-ra, never a fan of car rides but an unfortunate passenger on more cross-country journeys than most Americans will ever undertake. 5 times she made the trip, 3 times westward and twice back east. Not to mention a drive from Seattle to LA, and a round-trip between Vegas and Seattle. And, oh yeah, that first journey, from Boston to Philly. Poor thing. A year ago today, she would have been huddled under the passenger's seat of the Buick, silent and anxious and most likely wondering "Are we there yet?" Eventually, we were. Eventually, we arrived in Seattle. Again. And she was able to get out of the car and find a closet to hide in. One year ago.

Much has changed in the past year. For starters, Buford the Buick is now being driven by a dear friend of ours, and Alex and I are driving a totally bitchin' cherry red Camaro whom we call The Sexy Beast. She-ra had only one ride in The Beast, and it was on Christmas Eve, the night she died, one of the saddest nights of my life. My heart still breaks to think of it. She-ra never got to see the place we now call home, though she spent her last months only one floor above it. Same building, different view. What's also changed is that for the first time in several years, Alex and I have furniture of our very own, furniture that, should we move again, will absolutely be coming with us. No more furnished rentals on the horizon for us. What else has changed? Well, I'm an aunt! Brayton Isabelle is the best thing 7-11 ever produced, let me tell you. Also, I'm the mother of a little girl who just took her first steps! She's balder than my brothers, but she's now walking, which means her daddies will never sleep again. And, oh yeah, I got to see my parents become grandparents to two of the most perfect girls in the world, and while there was never any doubt that they were meant for grandparenting, it is nonetheless an incredible experience to see how much love can fill a room when they are with their girls. (Oh, I can't wait for the day that they're in a room with both girls at the same time--their heads may explode from an overdose of joy!) So much change…

I begin teaching my first acting class this month, that's new. And I've just been cast in a musical, holy cow, that's new. Alex has discovered the joys of balancing work and life, very new and very very AWESOME. And, he and I are happy. Which is not new, necessarily, but the past few years have made happiness a limited experience, so to feel joy on a regular basis again, that's new. And beautiful. I live within miles of my very best girlfriends, and while I used to share an apartment with two of them, it's been over a decade since we were all in the same town. New again. I like it.

The year ahead feels ripe for change. I'm ready for it. The past year has been challenging, not bad, just tough. Tough, yet filled with hope. It's the hope that has kept me going, the hope that this move, this resettlement in Seattle, is a move grounded in stability. Stability, that's new. Signing a 2-year lease, that's new. And looking ahead without seeing another cross-country trip, that's new. Unless something very unexpected happens in the next 4 months, 2011 will be the first year Alex and I have not driven cross-country since we left Seattle in 2003. And it feels good. It feels good to feel grounded. It feels good to think of the place I'm living as HOME.

And something else that's new, very new, is the feeling that Alex and I are once again ready to welcome something fuzzy into our lives. Something fuzzy like a kitten. It's time. We are ready. Our broken hearts have mended enough that we can think of She-ra most days without tears, we can think of her and all the joy she brought us, and we can think of how much joy we are ready for, once again. And so, be prepared in the coming weeks to see pictures of something cute and fuzzy, something with a little kitten nose and little kitten ears and a little kitten tail. I don't know who is going to be coming home with us, but I know that our home is ready for our family to be complete again. Stay tuned...