Huh-huh-huh-WHY-eeeeeee

There is no doubt about it: 2010 ended with a thud. A thud like a hammer hitting a head. A thud with whopping results. 2010 as a whole was....well, it was a hard year. I can't say it was a BAD year, not really. It had some really really good parts! But even the good stuff, almost all of it, was HARD. Financially, it was a good year. But almost every penny we made was coated in chaos and confusion. Theatrically, it was a...really, I can't call it a good year. I did some work that I am VERY proud of, but if nobody sees good work, does it even exist? 2010 was a year of change, and change is always challenging, even change that is sought after (like our move to Seattle). Yes, the overall feeling of 2010 was THIS IS REALLY HARD. And to have it end in the way it did, with our fuzzy daughter getting sick and Alex canceling his trip home for Christmas and me canceling my trip to Florida and then She-ra dying on Christmas Eve (worst Christmas ever) and then me getting stuck in a blizzard so I couldn't mourn with Alex til almost a week after she died...yeah, 2010 ended with a hammer-to-the-head kind of thud. When New Year's Eve rolled around, there was no part of me that was feeling celebratory, no part of me that wanted to share the event with the rest of the world. Fortunately, Alex and I had a good friend staying with us for the weekend, and while he was very understanding of our melancholy (this friend was She-ra's first father, before he abandoned her to go party it up in Europe for a few months), his being here forced Alex and I to unwrap ourselves from our misery long enough to find moments of laughter. And as the countdown to 2011 began, we 3 made our way downstairs to watch the fireworks off of the Space Needle (and as we're only 2 blocks from said Needle, we had the best view in town), and I felt happy to be with the people. Happy to feel that celebratory energy, even if it wasn't emanating from me. Happy to feel a part of something much bigger than myself. My friend Caro was telling me how a friend of hers likes New Year's Eve so much because "at midnite, it's like everybody's birthday, all at the same time." I like that. And I get it. It is the one moment each year when we all can celebrate the same thing with the same personal connection to it. I let myself shout out HAPPY NEW YEAR and whoop and cheer at the stunning display in the sky before me (and laugh aloud each time the guy behind us shouted out TIMES SQUARE AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON THE NEEDLE) and when the grande finale was complete and the sky was shrouded in smoke, I was happy to head back inside and call the night complete.

Yeah, I am done with 2010. I am ready to embrace 2011. And in order to fully embrace it, Alex and I sat down yesterday and purchased plane tickets to Hawaii. Wooooo hooooooo!! One of Alex's partners rented a house on Kauai for a month and has invited his friends to come and hang out with him. This seems to be the way we do Hawaii: have a friend with a house and get invited to stay, so the only expenses are airfare, food, and fun! We went to Maui in 2008 at the invite of one of my Columbia classmates (which was one of the best vacations EVER!!) and we are both so excited to head back to the tropics. I know that, for you east coasters, Hawaii is too far away to beat out the Caribbean islands for a tropical getaway. And having finally explored the Caribbean, I agree that it makes no sense to travel 12 hours for beauty that can easily be paralleled in only 4 hours. But as long as I'm on the west coast, I plan on exploring the beauty of Hawaii whenever possible. Which means, I need to make a lot of friends who have homes on the islands. I'll add that to my New Year's Resolutions. Though, my resolutions are pretty weighty already, so perhaps I'll work on that in 2012.

And so, 2011 is shaping up to be a good year. 4 days into it, the sun has shone bright and clear in Seattle (the grey is supposed to roll back in tonite). I am excited about the possibilities that lie ahead for me. I feel almost like I've been in hibernation, and I am ready to wake up!!! I feel like change is a-brewing, once again, and yes, change is always challenging, but I don't fear it, I seek it. I am ready to move forward into this new year and whatever opportunities await. And, knowing that there will be a week of sunshine in March, I can battle through whatever grey may come my way until then.

Here's wishing you sunshine and free lodgings in 2011!!