My new ride

I had my cry, thank you very much.
And the Cleveland Browns beat the Superbowl Champs New Orleans Saints, which had me crying all the harder. Tears of joy, remember.

It is a lovely morning. And it's the time of year when every lovely morning is a cause for celebration. Because every lovely morning could be the last lovely morning until Spring makes its way through the gloom. Yesterday was a lovely day, and I embraced it in the best way I could have imagined: I picked up my girlfriend and we went driving
IN MY NEW CAMARO!!!
I think that bears repeating. We went driving
IN MY SHINY NEW CANDY-APPLE RED W/WHITE RACING STRIPE 2010 CAMARO SS!!

What?

For those of you who have known me over the years, you know that I am not into cars. I rarely notice them, let alone desire them. My vehicles have always come to me used, and I always accepted them gratefully. My vehicles have been a means for me getting from point A to point B (and often, those points are 3000 miles from each other). My vehicles have come to me in a physical condition that kept me from fearing a scratch or a dent; their histories were worn on their bodies, and a few more dings and nicks only added to their intrigue. I will say that the condition of my vehicles has improved over time. The '88 aqua-green Oldsmobile, lovingly named Grandpa in honor of the grandfather who handed it down to me, was a beautiful beast to drive. However, it had been rarely maintenanced over the years, and within a year of it's coming to me, Alex was using duct tape to keep the engine in place. When Grandpa came to his final resting place on the side of a neighborhood road, we purchased a Dodge Neon which had operated as a rental vehicle in its previous life. Neo was shiny and clean and felt like a big step up in reliability. But it was a drag to drive, and it turns out that rental cars don't receive the best care from either the renters or the rental companies. 6 years and numerous cross-country trips later, Neo was sold to Alex's partners in Vegas as an extra set of wheels to be used when there were no better options, and we bought my parent's '98 Buick Regal. Oh, this car was a beauty! Shiny black, V-6, power everything. My mother had cared for her car for 90,000 miles, and it ran like a dream. I remember the first cross-country drive in Buford: it felt so unusual not to be worried about breaking down in the middle of nowhere; it was fantastic to have air conditioning that could be used without overheating the engine; it was wondrous to drive through the Rockies without leaning forward for fear that the car might not make it to the top of this stretch of mountain road. Ah Buford, how I've loved ya! But here we are, 4+ years and 80,000 miles later. And now, you constantly display warning lights to me: Service Vehicle Soon, Service Engine Soon, Traction Off, Low Traction, Anti-Lock Brake warning, Change Oil Soon. So many lights! Buford, my love, what am I to do? I've replaced alternators and 3 power windows and multiple tires and wheel bearings and tire rods and sensors. Thousands of dollars have gone into you in the past 2 years, and you've always gotten me where I need to go (though, lately, it has more frequently required white-knuckle driving on my part, as your brakes refuse to fully engage and your RPMs barely make it to 1500 on some stretches of highway). Buford, you're the nicest car I've ever owned! And your engine runs great, you're a comfortable ride, and even with only one speaker working you still have a better sound system than Neo (though, to be fair, Alex put a crazy sound system into the Neon, which was promptly stolen when we moved to Queens, and we never bothered replacing it because, well, we lived in Queens. 1 month, the Neon was broken into 3 times. For real.) I do love you, Buford, and if I could look into the future and know that you'd be with me for another 40,000 miles, I would take you straight into the shop and fix whatever else needs fixin' and we would ride off into the sunset (when the sun decides to shine). But I have no crystal ball. I have only flashing warning lights and a failing anti-lock brake system and a snapping serpentine belt, all of which leads to a huge sense of relief when I am able to pull you into your parking spot and release my grip on your wheel. I just don't think I can keep up like this any longer.

Plus, there's this Camaro, see.

I'm sure you're wondering how this Camaro has made it's way into my life. My husband has a funny little job which has some funny little perks and some funny little opportunities. Understand, he and I would NEVER think to buy a new Camaro. We are far too reasonable in this stage of our adulthoods. We'd been having The Talk about the need for a new vehicle, as the writing was on the dashboard, so to speak, that Buford wasn't gonna be taking us much further without a major overhaul. And we'd actually been considering doing just that: take the Buick into the shop and have them replace every single bit of him that needed replacing. Yes, it would cost thousands of dollars to do so. But for a car we've loved driving, it seemed like it might be worth it. It would be cheaper than buying the cheapest new car, and we'd be getting a lot more car this way. Really, it's hard to go from a V6 to a V4. We did it with the Neon, and it sucked. We were also considering buying a higher-end used car, something reliable without a lot of mileage. It would cost a good chunk of change, but it might give us the best value. Value. Everything comes down to value when one lives with a pro-gambler. Alex speaks in terms of Expected Value, or EV, constantly. Whether he's talking sports wagering or hiring movers or buying cars. What's the EV, he asks. What is the best value available to us in buying a vehicle?

Turns out, it's a shiny red Camaro. What??

Long story short, this car was won by his group in a Vegas contest (pick all the football winners, win a new Camaro!) Since the car is owned by his group, Alex is part-owner. And so, after balancing the pros and cons and looking at dollars spent now versus dollars spent later, it was decided that buying the car from the group provides the best value.

The truth? The 16-year-old Jersey boy in Alex found the car of his dreams and had to have it. The truth? Every guy that Alex works with discovered his inner 16-year-old. They each took a few days to drive it, to feel the power to the V8, 500-something horsepower engine. They each fell in love with it. But Alex was the only one who was actually in need of a new car. And so, we have a Camaro.

I will admit, I was not thrilled with the car. When I first saw it, I thought it looked stupid. It looked like the kind of car that the boys I used to hang with at the Jersey gas stations would go totally nuts over. And I'm done with those kinds of boys. Except, it turns out, that's Alex. And, it turns out, I'm a 16-year old Jersey girl who wants to take a drive in a fast car with a pumping sound system. It took only half a block for me to squeal in pleasure and say, "Oh, I LOVE this car!" It was all I could do to drive within the speed limit. I took it from 0--35mph in half a second, then had to force my foot off of the pedal and coast along the neighborhood roads. Oh, this car is SEXY!! I want to drive it. A lot. In fact, that's what I'm going to do today. I'm gonna go pick up my friend from the train station, and we're gonna hit the highway and listen to classic rock at full blast with the windows rolled down. My inner 16-year-old is totally in love with a bitchin' Camaro. I'm so freakin' Jersey.

The only thing missing is a name. We haven't found the name for this beast. It's definitely male, because it's a total muscle car. But it's too sexy to be named Tank or Beast. It needs a name that speaks to Jersey, but Bruce doesn't feel right, and we ain't calling it Bon Jovi. I don't know. Guess I'll just have to keep driving until he lets me know who he really is. Vroom vroom!!!